We Are Broken
by JordanMarie13
Summary: Bella has been through hell and back. She doesn't want to speak about it. Emmett tries to become her friend, but she won't do it. How will he reach her and save her broken soul?
1. PROLOGUE

There is blood everywhere. I can't breathe. The room is closing in on me. The blood is seeping closer and closer to me. I can't make any noise come from my throat. It's too dry. I can't move or cry to try and wake them up. I am a frozen statue. There is an opening. I crawl to the door and open it. The sun hurts my eyes. I walk around, and people stare. I walk to the police precinct, but I am unable to speak. I cannot tell them what he's done to us, to my family. We are broken.


	2. CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE: I have new parents. They act as if they care, but I know they do not care what's happened to me. I play with the bracelet on my arm.

"Bella!" James calls. "Come down here, please!"

"Okay!" I turn off my laptop and finish folding my clothes quickly. I run down the stairs and meet James and Victoria in the living room. They are sitting there, looking distressed, and James' arm is around her. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Bella, sweetheart," Victoria says, "there's a family that's going to adopt you."

I look at her and James. I just think they want to get rid of me. "You just want to get rid of me. I know it. I hate you!" I scream and go upstairs, getting my duffel bags out of my closet and throwing my clothes into it. I then grab my phone, iPod, laptop, and favorite book. "Fine, get rid of me! It's not like you ever cared!"

I walk out to the car and put all of my stuff in the trunk. I open its door and get into the back seat, blasting my iPod's music.

"Bella, don't do this, don't be like this," James tells me. "Don't act like this, honey."

"I'll act however I like," I hiss in anger. "I'll be pissed off if I want to be, and I have every right to be angry."

"No, you don't. You don't understand. These people will be able to take better care of you, and they said we'll be able to keep contact. Don't you want to keep contact with us?"

"You know I do, but I don't like being ripped from where I've lived all my life. I mean, where do they even live?"

"Forks. It's a small town in Washington." I choke back a sob. I won't let James see me cry. That's where we were when it happened- a little house Mom and Dad had bought.

"Just take me to where they're getting me. I don't care. Just do it." I cross my arms over my chest and look out the window. I hear James sigh and start the car. We drive away from my home of four years. We drive to the airport, and I say goodbye quickly and glide onto the plane. I sit on my seat in first class- I have no idea how James afforded it unless my new family did- and listened to my iPod and browsed my playlists. I pick my On-The-Go playlist. It has upbeat music, and it lifts my mood.

I fall asleep about halfway through the flight; the flight attendant wake me up to tell me to put on my seatbelt. I yawn but do as I'm told. We land, and I walk off. I see a man and a woman with a sign that says, "Isabella Swan." I walk over to them. The man has blonde hair and vivid blue eyes, while the woman has caramel colored hair and brown eyes. The woman says, "Hello, dear, my name's Esme Cullen. This is my husband, Carlisle Cullen. You're Isabella, correct?"

"Bella, ma'am, I prefer Bella."

"Oh, all right. We'll make sure our other children know that."

"You have other children?" I gulp. I'm not used to being around more than three people, and I'm afraid it'll bring back my nightmares. I don't want to explain what happened to me. I breathe deeply to hold off the panic that is bubbling to the surface.

"Are you okay?" Carlisle asks.

"What?" He gives me a look. "Oh. I'm okay. I'm just… well, I'm not used to being around so many people. It was just James, Victoria, and me."

"Oh, well, there's Carlisle and I, Alice and Rosalie, and Edward and Jasper. Emmett's our single child. Then there's you," Esme explains.

"That's a lot. Are any of them yours, or did you adopt them all?"

"Edward is ours. Jasper and Rosalie were our friend's twins, but their parents were killed a few years back. Murdered. It was quite sad." Esme shakes her head and frowns.

"Oh, I'm so sorry that happened."

"It's all right. The twins are doing a lot better than they were a little while ago. Now that they have Alice and Edward, they're happier." Esme smiles. "I don't care that they aren't straight, as long as they're happy it's fine with me."

"Well, that's good, I guess. I wish I had someone. James would've killed any male that came within five feet of me." I laugh quietly. "He was too overprotective since he and Victoria couldn't have their own kids. Vicki was in an accident when she was little and had a hysterectomy."

"Oh, that's too bad," Esme says. "I'm sorry that happened to her."

"S'okay. She's gotten past it," I tell her. "He's dealing too."

We're silent for the rest of the ride to their house. I blast the music from my iPod again, the sounds of Linkin Park running through my brain. Their song _"Numb" _was exactly how I felt. I feel overwhelmed with everything, like going into the Cullen household. Pretty soon, we pull into a driveway. At the end of it is a house with the bottom floor almost completely glass. I see five people waiting on the bottom floor. There are two blondes, a boy and a girl, a small girl with black, spiky hair, a boy with bronze hair, and a tall, muscled boy with dark, curly hair and dimples.

I think I'll end up shying away from him; he reminds me of _him._ The small girl has her arm around the blonde girl's waist, and the same goes for the blonde boy and bronze haired boy. The four look lovingly into the other's eyes. I look away, feeling something wrong about seeing such an intimate moment. I pull my hair into a sloppy bun, my bangs hanging in front of my face. I sigh again and grab my luggage.

"Here, sweetheart, let me get that for you," Carlisle says.

"No, I've got it," I protest; I don't want him to handle my things. I only have a few reminders of life before it happened. I don't want those reminders lost or broken. They're irreplaceable.

If they're damaged, I can't get them back.

"Carlisle, um, can I just go up to whatever room I'm getting and unpack? I'd rather be left alone for a while- I'm not used to so many people around me," I say.

"That'll be alright," he allows. "But I'll call you down for dinner. It's a family affair in this household." Carlisle smiles at me and shows me to my room. I ignore the children that are downstairs. The small girl tries to intercept me going upstairs.

"No." I shy away from her, moving to the opposite side of the stairs. Her girlfriend glares at me, wrapping her arm around the pixie's waist again. "I'm sorry," I mouth to her. She nods, wiping the tears from her eyes. Blondie gently pecks Pixie on the lips.

I go into the room quickly, shutting the door quietly behind me. I take a deep breath and open my suitcase.

On top is a picture of me, Charlie, and Renee. I was about five and was missing one of my front teeth. My hair was in braided pigtails, and I was smiling. Tears form in my eyes, and a sob breaks through my chest. I put my hands over my eyes and just cry. I don't want to cry; it makes me weak, but I am weak.

After about an hour of crying, I hear a knock at my door. "Bella?" Carlisle asks. "Will you come down for dinner?"

I wipe my face and say, "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay."

I go into the adjoining bathroom and walk to the sink. I look at my face in the mirror; it's blotchy and red. My eyes are red-rimmed too. I wash my face and dry it before walking down the stairs. I walk into the dining room and take a seat next to Boy Blondie. I cringe away a little, but I hope no one notices. It's not fair to them that they have such a troubled little girl. Yes, I am still just a little girl. I may be almost sixteen, but I'm an insecure, little girl.

"So, Bella," Boy Blondie drawls. "Where are you from?"

"Well," I squeak, "I've lived in Phoenix most of my life. Mom and Dad bought a house here in Forks, though. We used to come here sometimes in the summer before he kill- before they died," I cover.

Boy Blondie raises an eyebrow. "Y'all didn't tell me your names. I don't know any of you, except for Carlisle and Esme," I say.

"Oh!" Pixie exclaims. "I'm Alice, this is my girlfriend Rosalie, that's her brother Jasper, his boyfriend Edward, and that's Emmett." She giggles, and it sounds like wind chimes.

"Is she always this hyper?" I ask Blonde- Jasper. He nods. "O_kay._ That explains everything."

"Okay." Esme clears her throat. "It's girls' day to get their food first. Bella, why don't you start us off?"

"All right," I mumble. I reach for some green beans, some applesauce, and some salad. They're pretty small portions. One) I'm a vegetarian. Two) I can't eat too much or I'll throw up.

"Is that all you're getting, honey?" Carlisle questions. I nod. I roll my eyes at his concern; that's how James and Victoria were for the longest time, but they got used to me eating so little.

"I'm not too hungry," I explain. "Besides, I have jetlag, and I'm kind of tired. May I be excused?"

Carlisle gives Esme a look, and they nod at one another. Carlisle sighs, but he nods anyway.

I give them a nod of acknowledgement, and I push my chair in. I jog up the stairs and shut and lock the door to my room. I want to be alone. I get out the tiny razor blade I've hidden and rake it across my wrist. The blood makes me queasy, but I deserve it. I deserve it for all I've caused in my life. I deserve it for letting him in, for letting them die, and for being me. I deserve everything I do to myself and everything that happens naturally. I hear a knock at my door and scramble to pull my hoodie's sleeve down. I open it and peek out. It's Emmett. "Oh. Hi."

"Hi," I say awkwardly. "I'm just going to get a shower. Could I get fifteen or twenty minutes alone, please, Emmett?" He nods. "Thanks." I smile, shutting the door again. I huff out a breath of relief; he didn't find out.


	3. CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO: I shower, bandage the cuts, and put on a long sleeved black t-shirt and navy blue and gold pajama pants. I go downstairs and cut up some cucumbers. I feel a presence behind me, my breathing goes erratic, and I turn. "Emmett, you scared the crap out of me." I put a hand to my heart and try to calm my breathing.

"Nice pajamas," he says. "What were you doing that your door was locked?"

I go paler than I'd already been. "I was getting ready to get undressed to get in the shower; that's why the door was locked; I didn't want anyone walking in on me in a bra."

He blushes, like he's hoping to see me in a bra. I blush too, and I look away, picking at my cucumbers. I bite into one and grab a napkin to wipe my mouth. "So. What are you doing in here? I thought everyone else just ate dinner."

"We did, but I heard someone in here, and I thought that someone was you, because Alie, Rose, Jazz, and Eddie are all upstairs doing God knows what," he chuckles.

"I don't even want to know what's going on in your head." I dismiss him with a hand gesture and throw out the rest of my cucumbers. I won't be able to finish them, anyway.

"Why'd you throw all of those out?" asks Emmett.

"I can't finish them," I say.

He has a question in his eyes. "Why can't you eat too much?"

"Just a digestive problem I've always had. If I eat too much I'll throw up. Would you rather see that?"

"No," he tells me, shaking his head.

"Good, now stop talking about it," I snap.

He looks at me like I've hurt him. "I'm sorry," I say softer. "But it's none of your business what's up with me. I don't like people in my business."

"Sorry," he says. "You just look like you need a friend."

"I don't need anyone," I hiss. "I need you all to just leave me alone. You rip me away from my family and expect me to love you? I can't do that. I can't fix what happened with them. I can't help that he killed them, and it was all my fault. I can't fix it, and I'm so tired of not being able to fix anything." Tears form in my eyes, and I cover my mouth, realizing what I just said.

I run up the stairs with Emmett shouting, "Bella!" behind me. I lock my door and slide down it. I cry into my hands, and sobs break from my chest.

"It's… all… my fault," I mumble occasionally. "If I didn't let him in… they'd be alive!" More tears fall out of my eyes until my tear ducts run dry. I wipe my face with my sleeve and crawl into bed. I keep the light on, hoping to dissuade the nightmares.

oooooOOOOOooooo

I wake up in a cold sweat to a pounding on my door. I dizzily get out of bed and unlock it. It's Emmett.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" asks Emmett. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nod. "I just- I'm scared. Can you come lay with me?"

"Yeah, but what's wrong?"

"I have nightmares because of him. I can't help them. They're everywhere," I cry. "Please. Please just make them go away."

He comes into hug me, and I let him. "It's okay, sweetie. You'll be okay. No one's going to get you."

"He will, he will," I sob. "He promised he come to get me. He promised." My tears drip down his chest, and he's shirtless. My hands slide down his abdomen, and they're firm. My arms wrap around his waist. "Please, he'll get me. He said he'd get me. Please, don't leave me, don't leave me."

"Sshh," he shushes me. "No one's going to get you. We'll be fine."

"Do you promise he won't get me?" I ask in a child-like voice. He nods. "What if he does? What if he does get me?"

"He won't. He won't get you. You'll be fine." He hugs me tighter.

"Thank you; but I can't sleep. I can't fall asleep after the dreams. I only get, like, three or four hours at most of sleep a night. I can't. Don't make me," I beg.

"I won't, baby, I won't. Go to sleep, I'll stay."

"Okay. I'm gonna try, but I have to go to the bathroom." I get up and grab my box. I shut the door and lock it. I get the razor out and raise the sleeve of my shirt. I put it against my wrist and drag it across the skin. This one bleeds more than the others did, but I don't care. I drag it deeper. Blood spills over my arm and onto the floor. The smell makes my stomach turn. I cry softly and drag it deeper still.

"Bella?" Emmett knocks.

"Go away."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting sick. Go away," I moan.

"Bella, I don't hear throwing up. I'm coming in," Emmett says loudly.

"No!" I screech. "Don't come in. Don't." It's too late; Emmett opens the door with the force of running into it with his shoulder. He sees the blood and razor, and his face pales.

"Bella," he says, "what are you doing?" He grabs the razor and throws it. He grabs my wrist then and looks at the cut. "How old are these? How long have you been mutilating yourself for?"

I won't answer, and I can't look into his eyes. "I have the right to remain silent. I won't say a word to you."

Emmett exhales, pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger. I suppose it's in anger. "Don't you tell me that shit. Don't you dare, Isabella Swan."

He snatches some bandages from the medicine cabinet and cleans my arm with rubbing alcohol. It burns immensely, and I try to pull my arm away from him. "Stop it," he snaps, grabbing the gauze and medical tape. He rips the tape with his mouth and puts it over the corners of the gauze. "What's wrong with you? Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"_Muchas cosas. Yo no estoy loco, pero tengo un derecho de hacer lo que quiero a mi cuerpo_."*

"_Puede tener ese derecho, pero no cubrir mutilación. ¿Cómo el infierno le hace lo explica a Carlisle y Esme cuándo los digo?" *_he replies angrily.

"Don't you start with the self-righteous stuff," I reply in English. "Stop it. You all act like you're better than me, but you're not. Rosabitch isn't nice to me, Jasper scares me, Edward is just plain weird, and Alice is too hyper all the time. I don't fit in here, and I want to go back home." Tears fall out of my eyes for the millionth time in one day.

"Oh, Belly baby, we don't act like that towards you to make you feel bad. We want you to stay here."

"I know. But I want to go home. I miss James and Vicki. I bet they miss me too," I cry sadly. "What would they think if they found out about this?" A thought comes to mind suddenly. "Emmett, you cannot tell _anyone._ They'll send me away, they will."

"I won't. But Belly, you've got to stop. I won't tell unless this gets out of hand. If it does, I _will_ tell Carlisle and Esme." A light bulb flickers in his head. "Hey, are you from an _Español_ speaking country?"

"Well, no. But my mom's Peruvian, so we conversed in Spanish a lot at home. She doesn't look Spanish at all, though. She has red hair and these beautiful bright, green eyes. They're like emeralds." I smile at the memory of Victoria. She may not be my biological mother, but I've always thought of her that way. "What about you? Where'd you learn Spanish?"

"Esme hired tutors for us when we were younger, and it's just stuck. I read and write in Spanish a lot too, and I have a pen pal who lives in Madrid."

"I've been there before- Spain I mean. It's beautiful, and it's always sunny, and the sunsets are just spectacular." We stop talking and lie together in my bed. He grabs my hand and intertwines it with his own, resting them on my stomach. I fall into a peaceful slumber for the rest of the night.


	4. CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER THREE: I wake up, and mine and Emmett's hands are still connected on my stomach. I smile and yank it free, walking into the bathroom for a shower. I turn on the hot water and hop in. It soothes the sore muscles in my abdomen and waist. I see bruises from where Emmett squeezed too hard, but that's okay. He's really very sweet.

I sigh and turn off the water as it begins to get cold, grabbing a towel and drying. I brush my teeth and hair and walk out to my room. Emmett's still lying on the bed, and I giggle and push against his chest, my left hand gripping the towel.

"Go 'way." He swats at my hand and rolls over the other way. I just move and push against his chest again. "I said, go 'way."

"Emmett," I giggle, "I'm naked." He shoots up rapidly and looks at me.

He clamps his hand over his eyes and says, "Ahh! It burns!" I laugh heartily at that.

"Oh, don't be a spoil sport. I just need you to get out so I can get dressed. Can you do that?"

"Yes, ma'am." He salutes me and sprints out, shutting the door softly behind him. I giggle again and put on a dark blue and white striped V-neck sweater, a blue camisole, and grey skinny jeans. I put on some mascara and a bit of eyeliner to make my eyes pop out. I do look good, if I do say so myself.

"Okay," I shout. "You can come back in." Emmett strolls right in, wearing a tight fitting black t-shirt and some good ol' blue jeans. I stare at his chest; its muscles are accentuated since the shirt's so tight. I feel as though I should be drooling. I quickly shake my head and run a hand through my hair. "Oh, hey, can I have a few more minutes? I want to French braid my hair," I say. He nods, and I walk back into my bathroom. I get my brush and brush it out; my fingers get to work, and it's braided in all of five minutes.

"Wow. That was fast," Emmett says.

"I know. I had to learn how braid it fast because I always fell back asleep after my alarm went off, and my hair was so knotted in mornings. It came in handy to be able to French braid so fast, and it was easier to braid it than anything else."

"Ah. I see. What do you want for breakfast?" he asks.

"Um… let's see, I'll just have and apple or and orange or something simple," I tell him.

"How about I cut up both?" he suggests, and I nod, smiling. "Okay. Well. Come on, and we'll say hi to everyone." I groan, but Emmett grabs my arm and pulls me to the kitchen.

Everyone is talking amongst themselves, and they look up as we walk in. I look down, a blush flooding my cheeks. "Don't worry," Emmett whispers. "They just want to get to know you."

"Okay," I squeak, suddenly extremely nervous. Emmett rubs his thumb in circles across my hand, as he'd grabbed it a minute ago in a comforting gesture. The other kids' eyes zero in on our intertwined hands. My face loses all of its color, and I look at the floor.

"Hi," chirps the little one. Alice, I suddenly remember, is her name.

"Um… hi. _¿Que tal?" _I accidentally slip into Spanish.

"_Asi-asi,_" she answers, gesturing with her hands.

"I'm Bella. You're Alice, right?" I ask. She nods. "And you"- I point to the blonde girl- "are Rosalie, right?" Rosalie, as I suspected, nods. "So you two have to be Jasper"- I point to the blonde boy- "and Edward." The bronze haired boy nods too. "Okay. Now I have all of your names. Aren't the rest of you going to say something or other?"

That seems to snap them out of their trance, and they blink. "Oh," Jasper says. "I guess it's just odd that you're talking to us when you weren't yesterday."

I blush and say, "Sorry."

"Oh, it's quite alright, we were just wondering if you were okay now." Jasper grasps Edward's hand on the table.

"I guess. It's odd having so many people around and being in a new state, especially one so different from Phoenix. And I miss my dog. Jamie said he and Vicki would take care of her." I sigh lovingly and imagine my golden retriever with me. "She got me through so much, and I've had her since I was, like-" I stop to calculate, counting on my fingers. "I've had her for about four years. I've had her since I was eleven."

"If you're only fifteen, how are you a junior?" Edward asks.

"Oh. I was in advanced courses all through middle school, and halfway through my freshmen year, they just decided to let me skip up to a junior. I'm such a geek."

"So what if you're a geek? We must stick together."

"Have you seen my really geeky glasses? I'm wearing my contacts, but my eyes hurt because I forgot to take them out last night." I glance pointedly at Emmett in my peripheral vision. He blushes. "I'll be back in a minute." I run upstairs and open the door to my room. I close it gently and go to the bathroom. I take out my contacts and blindly walk around and search for my glasses. I find them and place them on my face. I walk downstairs, and when I reach the kitchen, say, "See how nerdy I look?"

They all look at me, and I'm like "Okay, I know I look nerdy, but it's not polite to stare." Um, it's weird having them stare at me, and I don't like it. "Um, guys, what's up?"

They all burst out laughing at the awkwardness of the situation, while I'm standing there with my legs crossed and my arm slung across my chest.

"You… look… so… cute," Edward sputters. "If I weren't gay, I'd totally tap you!"

"You'd what?" I gasp. "Oh, my God." A blush covers my cheeks. "You just… ahh!" I cover my eyes with my hands. "But you like dick!" It comes out muffled since my hands are over my mouth too.

"Of course I do, you silly girl, or else I wouldn't be with Jazz, here." He chuckles.

"Oh God, please don't do that. I don't want to know about your sex life, Edward," I groan.

"I'm not telling you about my sex life, silly girl. I'm just telling you that I like dick."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Eek! That is one terrible mental image.

"Okay, I think it's time you stop talking about you and Jazz getting it off, Ed," Emmett says. "I don't think her virgin brain can take any more of that."

"Who said I was a virgin?" I ask suspiciously, raising an eyebrow. Emmett splutters for an answer. "Just kidding." I wink at him and blow a kiss. Alice and Rose burst into boisterous laughter. Edward and Jasper join in.

"How can you…? You really…? Bel-la-la," Emmett drawls out.

"Oh, don't you start. I may be a virgin, but I've heard much worse than them." I point to Edward and Jasper. "My 'friends' were so much worse." Tears prick in the back of my eyes. I don't want to be associated with them anymore. They're the ones who started me on the cutting. They ruined what little I had. They haunt me, and I suddenly feel the need to cut. I start scratching at my arm and say, "If you'll excuse me for a minute, I have to go upstairs."

They nod, and I quickly scurry to my bathroom. I lock the door and go to the drawer where I've hidden the rest of my razors. I take one out and rip off its clean packaging, and I lift up my sleeve. I see the other bandages and take it across the very tip of my wrist. Blood gushes out, and I quickly bandage it. I pull down my sleeve and see that my eyes are a little puffy and red.

"Oh no," I grumble, covering my eyes again. I go out and call down the stairs, "I'm taking a nap. Good night." I lie down, cover myself up, and I wait for the nightmares to come.


	5. CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FOUR: _Everything is covered in darkness. My wrists are tied with rope, and it burns as I try to free them. I hear his cackle, and I look at his face. It looks the same- he still has shoulder length blonde hair and hazel eyes. He laughs at me again as my movements become more frantic. I have to get out; I can't let him take them again. He comes closer and pulls out a pocket knife. He holds it against my throat and begins to drag it across. I feel the blood fall, and I slip into unconsciousness. I hear his laugh and he goes to-_

"Ahh!" I wake up screaming, and Emmett is shaking me. "No." I shy away from his hand and tumble off of the bed. I can feel what I ate this morning trying to make its way up my esophagus. I sprint to the bathroom and empty my stomach. Emmett comes in and holds my hair back. "Oh God," I groan after I've finished vomiting. "I didn't want you to see that. Go away," I say when I feel my stomach twisting again. I quickly move my head back over the toilet and heave my stomach's contents.

"I'm not leaving you like this," he says with conviction, as I continue to heave. I finally finish and cough.

I pull away from Emmett and rest my back on the cabinet, my hand resting on my stomach. I can't think about the dream. I won't think about it. I'll just forget it.

"Are you okay?" asks Emmett softly. I nod, but tears still want to escape. I hold back a sob, but it breaks free, anyway.

"Oh, Belly," Emmett sighs, holding me and resting my head on his chest.

"He never leaves me alone," I sob. "He's not going to go away, Emmett!"

"Belly baby, he'll leave as soon as you get past this. You have to," he tells me.

"Emmett, I have to tell you something, but you can't get mad. You have to promise." He nods. "I… I cut again," I confess.

I peek up at his face, and it's turning red in his fury. I scoot away and go onto my bed, closing the bathroom door so he can have his freak out.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" he shouts when he comes out. "Why the hell would you go and do _that_ again?"

I'm shocked. He's never, _never _yelled at me. "Don't you yell at me, Emmett! You mess up too, so don't get righteous on me!" I yell back.

I go to leave, but his arm shoots out and grabs my upper arm. "Let me go, Emmett!" I try to pry my arm loose, but his grip tightens. I can feel my flesh bruising. "_Stop it, Emmett!_" I scream, pulling my arm from his grip. His eyes show that he can't believe he just did that. I can't, either. I walk around and grab my Desert Vista High School hoodie and my sneakers. "I'm going for a walk. _Don't _come."

I run down the stairs and see the shocked faces of Edward and Rosalie. "Just don't." I walk out the front door, slipping on my black and pink Air Force 1's and my hoodie. I run as fast as I can, and I reach a fork in the woods. I go left and soon find a log. I sit on it, and I cry, my tears mixing with the rain that had started to fall. I can't say how long I'm in the woods for before someone comes and sits next to me. A strong, muscled arm slides around my shoulders and pulls me against his body. I peek up and see blonde hair.

"Oh, Jasper, I'm such a mess!" I cry, untangling his arm from me. "Just leave like everyone else does! Just _go,_ dammit!" I pound my fists on his chest and push him away. He stumbles, and I run in the opposite direction, tears spilling from my eyes. It becomes dark, and I trip over something. I'm still crying, so I don't worry about getting up. I wrap my arms around my knees to help keep me warm and bury my face in them. I fall asleep, but I'm not really sure it's sleeping. I think it's just my mind shutting down on itself so I don't have to face what's happened.

The darkness is comforting, and I don't want to leave it. My body starts to shiver, and I curl in on myself more. The rain's soaked through my clothes, and my hair is dripping onto the sodden earth. I hear footsteps on the ground, and I become frightened. What if it's a serial murdered or rapist? And then I feel the person's hands go behind my shoulders and under my knees.

"No," I cry. "Let me go." I feebly pound against the person's chest.

"Stop it, Bella," the man rumbles. "You're going to get even sicker if you don't let me take you back to the house. I shake my head; everything's fuzzy. "Please Belly," begs the person.

"No, let me go."

"No, I'm not letting you go. Esme and Carlisle are so worried. You're coming home whether you like it or not, dammit."

"No, no, no, no, no, I can't go back. Don't take me back. Don't. They'll hate me, please," I mumble.

"Oh, honey, they won't hate you," Emmett says.

"Yes, they will. They'll hate me forever. Please, please don't take me back. _Please,_" I beg.

"Bella, your lips are blue, your hands are freezing, and you can barely keep yourself awake. I'm not taking you anywhere but the goddamned house," Emmett hisses.

I decide to stop arguing with him, and soon we reach the house. Jasper is on the front porch pacing, and Edward is standing to the side, watching him. I realize Jasper's probably more worried than anyone since _I _ran away from _him._

"I'm okay; put me down." Emmett listens, but he keeps an arm around my tiny waist so I don't fall or something. I get to the third step on the porch when I'm tackled by Jasper.

"Ohmygod, I am so sorry I didn't go to find you. I tried, I _swear to God_ I fucking tried, but it was too dark, and your path was ruined from the rain–"

I cut off his rant. "I'm fine," I whisper hoarsely. My throat is tight, and I can't breathe. "Don't… don't… don't," I gasp, black scurrying to the edges of my vision. My knees give out, and Jasper swiftly grabs me and takes me inside. "I'm… okay. Put… me… down."

"Bella, you're obviously not fine. Come on, girl, don't be stupid." He slaps my ass as he sets me down.

"Shut up, Jasper," I say, on the brink on slumber. The pain in my chest is unbearable. The last thing I hear is Carlisle coming over and telling me to sleep.

When I wake up, I feel gauze on my chest, and it aches. I'm freezing, and my throat is constricted. I feel someone stroking my hair and lift my eyes to whomever it is. It's Emmett.

"Hi," I croak.

"Oh. I didn't know you woke up. Are you okay?" he asks.

"I don't know. I'm cold, and my throat hurts, and my ribs hurt; I can't breathe right."

"I'm sorry. You fell and broke a couple of ribs, and you're running a high fever. It's like 103.9. That's why you feel so bad."

"They know, don't they?" The look on Emmett's face tells me they do. "Oh God, they know." I burst into tears. "They can't know! They'll find out about everything else, Em!" A sob breaks from my chest, and I cry in humiliation and pain.

"Bella, don't cry. You're okay. Stop crying."

"O-okay. You can't tell me that they don't know. They do, dammit!"

"Calm down. You're sick, and you don't feel good. Just calm down," Emmett says.

"Lay down with me. Please." He comes and cuddles me to his chest to help warm me up. "Why am I so cold?"

"The rain. Hypothermia. It makes you cold. I'll help keep you warm."

"Thank you. This– It means a lot."

"I know. Go to sleep," Emmett says to me.

"Okay." I snuggle into his chest and think about what's to come tomorrow.


	6. CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE: I'm cold when I wake up, and Emmett isn't with me. I wrap the blanket around my shoulders, cough, and head downstairs. Everyone is at the table, deep in conversation. I lean in and hear they're talking about me.

"You can't just go up to her and say, 'Hey Bella, can I see your sliced up wrists?' Are you stupid?" Emmett argues.

"She's a cutter, and she has to live with that fact. She's the one who's got to live with it. We don't have to," Rosalie says. I've always known she didn't like me.

I quietly go upstairs and get into my photo album. I skim through until I find a picture of Anthony. I miss my baby, and tears begin to silently trickle from my eyes in remembrance.

"Who's that?" a soft voice asks.

I quickly slam the photo album closed and whirl around to face Esme.

"Oh, he's just a friend's kid. He's practically my own." _More than you'll ever know._

"He's adorable. What's his name?"

"Anthony," I answer immediately. "He'll be two soon."

"Oh, then he's just a baby. How old was your friend when she had him?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, she was a little bit of a whore and had him when she was thirteen. She has a family who helps take care of him, though, so she can finish her schooling."

"That's good. She's too young to give up everything for a baby. I don't think I'd've been able to do that."

"Why?" I ask, unable to help myself.

"Because I'd want a life at that age," Esme says. "It wouldn't be fair for me to give up everything."

"She didn't ask for it, Esme, she was raped. She had to live for nine months with that baby inside her. She could've aborted him, but it wasn't his fault that she'd been raped."

Esme looks surprised at the ferocity in my tone. I don't want to tell her it was _me_ we're talking about. That's a story for another day.

"He… he looks like you," Esme remembers. "That baby looks like _you._" Esme gasps. "Carlisle–"

"Sshh." I snap my hand over her mouth. I plead with my eyes and voice. "Please, you can't tell anyone. They already hate me. _Please, _Esme, let me tell them when I'm ready."

Esme nods slowly, and I lower my hand from her mouth. She turns away from me shouting, "Carlisle! Carlisle, come here _now!_"

"Esme! No, don't say anything! _Please don't!_" But it's too late. Carlisle is already up the stairs and coming into my room.

Esme shoves past me and goes to my photo album. She opens up to the page with Anthony. "Doesn't that baby look _exactly _like Bella? Doesn't he?" she asks. I hide my face in my hands and walk downstairs, afraid to hear his answer, _refusing_ to hear his answer.

But I hear it anyway. "Yes, he looks a lot like her. Very much so."

"Dammit," I whisper. "_Yo tan jodo enroscado_." I get a burst of anger and throw my fist at the wall. My knuckles get splinters, and I smell the distinct scent of blood. I honestly don't care. They've managed to find out all of my secrets– except who did this to me– in a span of two days. I go down to the kitchen, ignoring the others, and rinse my hand in the sink. I feel their eyes burning a hole in my back, but I go to the freezer and get some ice. I set it on my knuckle and sigh.

"Bella–"

"Don't," I cut in. "I'll tell you all my fucking dirty laundry. It's not like Carlisle and Esme aren't going to tell you."

"What dirty laundry?" Emmett tries again.

"Wait here." I walk up the stairs, get to my room, and snatch the photo album from Esme. I run down the stairs and slam it onto the kitchen counter. "_That's _a big pile of dirty laundry." Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Edward, and Alice all crowd and gasp in synchronization. "Yeah, I know, he looks just like me. No shit. He's my son."

Rosalie glares at me. "Yeah, I know, I was a whore. Yeah, I deserved what happened to me, yadda, yadda, yadda. Just shut it, Blondie." I look at everyone else. "There." I gesture to the photo album. "Look at everything bad that's happened to me. Look at the police report; it's in there too. I'm not _ever_ going to forget what happened." I walk upstairs and see Carlisle and Esme. "Are you happy now? Go look at the damn police report and everything bad that's ever happened to me. It's all in there."

I walk up to my room and lock the door, sliding down it. Tears slowly begin to fall from my eyes, and I slug to my bed. I hear a pounding on the door, but I refuse to open it.

"Bella," Jasper calls. "Let me and Edward in. We just want to talk to you."

"Go away," I cry. "Just leave me alone. Please."

"We're not leaving until you let us in," Edward argues.

"Go to hell," I hiss venoumously.

"We've been there and back," Edward says.

"I don't care. Go away. I don't want you here, so just leave." I know they won't leave. I smash my face into my pillow and scream. "Go away. Don't you get I don't want you here? I don't want to be here. I want to go back to James and Victoria where everything was vague." Nothing here is how it was. "Everything's different. I want it to go back to the same." I start crying again.

"We know, Bella. We know nothing's the same here. I understand that," Jasper says.

"_You don't understand anything!_" I scream. "You don't understand how hard it is to be here, to live like this. You don't have to live in fear _every day._ Every day he's there. He's watching me to make sure I don't do anything stupid, to make sure I keep quiet. Did you know that? Did you? Huh? Did you know he's watching my _every move,_ Jasper? _Every single one,_" I enunciate, tears continuously trickling from my eyes.

"Who's following you, Bella?" asks Edward, like it's the easiest thing in the world to say.

"I can't tell you. He'll kill my baby. I can't let him do that to Anthony before he's even lived. He won't kill my baby."

"Who, Bella?"

"I can't fucking tell you, dammit! I'm not letting him kill anyone else!"

"Who are we talking about here, Bella? The man who raped you when you were thirteen and left you pregnant? Or are we talking about the man who killed your parents?"

"When did my parents come into this conversation? They're not part of this. Please. I can't talk about them. He'll hear me," I beg.

"Who the hell will hear you, Bella?" Jasper asks hardly.

"I… He's… I can't. Please don't make me."

"That's it. We're fucking coming in. I'm tired of your bullshit." Jasper kicks the door, and it flies open.

"It isn't bull! I'm telling the truth. You don't understand. He'll kill us all, Jasper. He'll kill our baby right in front of me. He said he'll torture Anthony before he kills him right in front of me. I can't let him get hurt."

"Bella," says Alice, who I assume has been listening the whole time, "Anthony will be safe. We won't let anything happen to him. I promise."

"You can't promise anything! You don't know what kind of a monster is. You don't know what he's done to me and what he will do if he finds out I said anything."

"Bella, everything's going to be fine," Carlisle says, coming towards me with a needle.

"No, no, I'll calm down! I'll calm down! Just don't make me go to sleep. I can't go to sleep."

"All right, breathe with me." Carlisle begins breathing deeply, and I do the same. Soon, I'm calm, and I sit on my bed.

"Okay, go ahead and ask whatever since you obviously think I'm a lunatic, Rosabitch– Oops, I slipped."

Rosalie glares at me, and I smile kindly. "I… I'm going to bed. Will you all get out, please?" They go, Carlisle in front, Rosalie in back glaring at me. "Emmett, wait. Come here." He comes over to me, and I kiss his cheek. "Thank you. Come back in in a half hour. I'll be ready for bed by then." He nods and walks out, shutting the broken door behind him. I go into my bathroom and get in the shower. The water helps relax me. I hurriedly get out and braid my hair, my bangs hanging on the left side of my face. Emmett comes in just as I finish putting on my pajama pants. I smile at him, and we lay down, me snuggled into his chest.

"I… I can tell you, Emmett. I trust you. It's… It's Jacob Black who's been following me and who threatened to kill Anthony."

I can't believe I told Emmett who'd hurt me. It's not like I should have told him. I shouldn't have told him. Jacob's going to get me now. I'm going to die and so is my baby. I start to cry, but Emmett's asleep, so he doesn't notice. I'm glad; I don't want him to see me cry.

I unwrap his arms from me and walk to my bathroom, tears still dripping from my eyes. "Oh my God, I told him." I put my hands over my eyes and just cry.

I think it's a few hours later when I hear a faint, "Bella?" through the door. It's Emmett.

"What?" I croak.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"No."

"What's wrong, Belly?"

"I'm scared," I say.

"Here, let me in," he says.

"Okay." I unlock the door, and he comes in.

"Honey, why are you scared?"

"I'm scared he's going to find me. He's… he's not good, Em; he's mean, terrible. He purposefully did what he did to me. He handpicked me from all of the other girls in Phoenix. He told me so."

"And how old is he now?"

"Well… if I was thirteen, and I'm fifteen now… he's twenty-three," I say. "He was twenty-one. He'll be twenty-four soon, though."

"That's sick."

"On the bright side of things, Jen and Alan are getting me two plane tickets to see Ant," I say excitedly.

"Two tickets?" Emmett asks.

"Yeah, they know how I don't like to travel alone."

"Who's gone with you before?" Emmett asks.

"Oh, um, Vicki went with me because she likes seeing Ant. James didn't because he felt that Anthony was a chapter in my past better left closed," I say.

"Oh," he says.

"Yeah. I'll have to ask someone if they'll want to go with me."

Emmett looks hurt for a moment. "Why don't you ask _moi_?" he asks.

"They don't like me bringing guys. They think I'm a whore because I got pregnant so young." I laugh a laugh that contains no humor. "They think I'll go and sleep with the whole town. Just think, there's all this gratitude for the girl who gave them a baby," I say.

"Well… that's not… nice at all."

"No duh, Em." I snuggle further into his body and fall asleep. I swear I hear him say, "I love you, Belly."


End file.
